Holy Damnation

[Llewlyn]

The letter was read for perhaps the thousandth time. Each word was memorized but still read as if it held a hidden truth Llewlyn continuously missed. But the words never changed and neither did their meanings. He was to go to the Vatican City. He was to speak with His Holiness, perhaps this Rosenkreutz. Not a word was to be spoken about what he was doing, where he was going or even hint at the distress he felt. His Beta had driven him to the airport two hours after the letter was received, one hour after the arrival of the second larger package.

His Beta had demanded to be told what this was all about. Llewlyn had refused to tell him, choking back the grief he felt, fighting his stomach that threatened to turn its contents loose.

"Does this have to deal with the... with the package you received? Jesus Christ, Llewlyn, how could you? They're sick fucking bastards!"

He tried to ignore the male in the driver's seat, tried to think up an excuse or a way to reason. His mind was still numb.

"Trust me. What I'm doing will keep all of you out of danger. I can't tell you anything... You just have to trust me."

Trust him? How could they trust someone who was about to betray their entire species, about to hand them over to a sadistic maniac named Nicolas? How could his Beta say he would place his trust in Llewlyn after seeing the second package...? The very long, very exclusive plane ride to Rome had been torture. He was supplied with almost everything and anything he wanted except for his mate and infant son. He did not want anything and stared out the window, replaying the scene of the arrival of the second packe over and over in his mind...

One of his pack members rushing into the hall, a look of alarm on his face, carrying a sealed wooden box. His pack member said it smelled like blood. Llewlyn rushed forward, grabbing it, breaking the seal and breaking the lid to see an infant's hand missing a finger and his howls of rage and bottomless grief and sorrow echoed through the Orthrus Territory.

When he entered the tiny airport, exhausted from the jet lag and lack of sleep due to the nightmares, he was met by a man in clerical robes who asked him to follow. Llewlyn was bitterly amused by the first class treatment he was receiving from His Holiness and His Followers but he said nothing even when prompted to speak. They rode in silence to The Vatican City and to an elaborate gothic cathedral he recognized from television. The door was opened for him and he was asked if he would care to change attire before seeing His Holiness. Llewlyn gave the man a blank stare. Funny the man would be so kind... It was completely out of character for him to be dressed so casually but he ceased to care what The Holiness thought of him. God had already shown him what He thought. He was then shown to his room and asked to wait.

The room was rather extraordinary in how ordinary it was. A four post bed, a nightstand with a lamp, a writing desk with a lamp, a dresser with a mirror. From the mirror hung a wooden cross and rosary beads. Llewlyn stared at these religious symbols as if he had never seen them before. How could they justify killing a newborn in the name of God? He wanted to rip down the cross and meaningless beads but another knock at the door and another man dressed like a damned clergyman entered.

"His Holiness is expecting you. Allow me to show you the way."

Llewlyn followed, always a step behind the man. Was the man not afraid? Did he not realize he could kill him with a single hit? A courageous man, or a foolish man. Whichever, Llewlyn made it a point to memorize his face and where he led him. And where this man led him it was nearly impossible to keep track off. All Llewlyn knew was they were going underground in to the plague tunnels. The tunnels beneath the cathedral, however, were converted to rooms and other unnecessary things. He failed to make note of anything in the tunnels except the man before him. It was very damp, the candle light providing little warmth, and it smelled.

Wanting to fill the awkward silence, the man began to prattle on about His Holiness and how His Holiness had been the youngest pope ever selected. And, the man said, he may be the pope to end all popes.

"A false prophet," was Llewlyn's response.

The man stopped and looked curiously at Llewlyn.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Not only will there be an Antichrist but a false prophet," Llewlyn said, his face a mask of no emotion. He watched the man's mouth twitch and his curious look change.

"That is what many commonly believe, yes. The false prophet is already among us, or shall be very soon, preaching of false gods, like that popular Pagan leader. Or perhaps it alludes to your kind."

A twitch came to Llewlyn's mouth. He wanted to smile but the smile refused to surface.

"My religion has been around much, much longer than yours, survived the many attempts of your religion slaughtering us in the name of Jesus, who was a peace loving and peace advocating man, and in the name of God. How embarrassing. Did you know that angels believe in the Mother and the Father? I find it hilarious the celestial beings you celebrate that announced the coming of Christ and has done wonders for mankind in the name of God do not even worship God."

The man stared at him for a long time, not saying a word. Then, he harumphed and continued his walk and Llewlyn followed.

"Angels do not exist, my blasphemous friend. The creatures that call themselves angels are but figments of imagination or other unholy supernaturals that pretend to do the works of God."

Before Llewlyn was able to answer, he opened a door and motioned inside.

"His Holiness will see you now."

[Rosenkreutz]

The room Llewlyn would see when he entered was most likely not what he expected. It was sparsely decorated, and dimly lit by a gaslight chandelier which dangled from the ceiling. At the far wall was a large mahogany desk, behind which sat a man who most definitely wasn't His Holiness Pope Peter the First.

The man was flanked on either side by two monks in older style Franciscan robes, holding censers that billowed sweet-smelling smoke from their holes, and he smiled a cold smile at Llewlyn.

"Have a seat, Llewlyn," the man said, his voice carrying a hint of either what would be a German or Austrian accent as he gestured to a chair in front of the desk. It wasn't a request or invitation, it was an order. His silvery hair shone in the light from the chandelier, and his gray eyes caught and played with the light as well, giving him an almost luminous quality.

"His Holiness won't be joining us today. I could tell you a lie, that he was suddenly called away by pressing business if you like, but I find that rather unbecoming. Simply put, he doesn't sully himself with the low and corrupt things like you; your kind is beneath his recognition," he said with a disdainful tone.

"It was a smart decision for you to do as you were told. I'm quite sure that Hazel will appreciate it even more than we do. You're here to do the work of God, and to help us rid the world of the damnable filthy creatures like yourself. Do your job well, and you may yet redeem your soul, as well as the soul and the life of your beloved Hazel. Do it poorly, and...well, I don't think I have to really tell you what is forfeit. Let me simply say it will be slow." The man reclined back in his chair, smiling, letting the desperation of the situation sink into Llewlyn's brain. He loved moments like these.

[Llewlyn]

The room was certainly not one he was expecting to step in to, but then again, the past forty eight hours had been nothing but unexpected for him. His green eyes traveled to the monks and he held in a cough, a hand instinctively raising to cover his nose as the sweet smell assaulted him. The silver-haired man behind the desk did not look like a fool and Llewlyn could only guess the smoke was used as an advantage. Or perhaps the man genuinely enjoyed breathing in smoke.

He kept his distance from the desk, his hands balling into first loose fists that gradually began to tighten. He wanted to resist taking a seat, infuriated that he was being commanded, but then he remembered Hazel was with them, and he remembered his pack was being taken over by Nicolas, and he especially remembered the box....

And so, Llewlyn sat, he sat with his hands clenching his thighs, his jaw clenching, not caring if he was coming off as being hostile and wanting to tear this man's throat out. It was what this man expected and Llewlyn was helpless to not give in. He listened to the words that spilled from the man's mouth, not really hearing except a few select words and phrases. What he heard was his blood pounding in his ears, his heart throbbing in his throat, his veins pulsing with barely contained adrenaline.

He leaned forward, ever so slightly, and stared the man in the eyes... the man he assumed murdered his infant son.

"You must be Rosenkreutz... well, Rosenkreutz, I have a few select things to say but before I begin, I have one request... it's a very simple request... I would like to hear from my mate... I doubt you'll allow me to see her... so I would like a letter from her.... To know that she's okay, from her own penmanship, and trust me.. I know her writing style."

He briefly closed his eyes and let out a breath. "I'm suppose to be doing the work of God? I don't believe in God. Not your God, any ways..."

[Rosenkreutz]

"I would like to hear from my mate... I doubt you'll allow me to see her... so I would like a letter from her.... To know that she's okay, from her own penmanship, and trust me.. I know her writing style."

Rosenkreutz smiled. This Llewlyn's defiance was to be expected; they were always defiant at first. Breaking them of it was a triumph all its own, and another of the small pleasures he got from his work.

"Well, I daresay Hazel is hardly in a state she'd like to be seen in. You know women and their vanity, and you creatures are almost sin incarnate, so it's even worse in the females of your kind. So yes, you're very right; seeing her is out of the question. She's been crying quite a bit."

"As to your request for a letter from her, I'm sure that can be arranged. You'll find working for us can be quite amenable, and we do reward good behavior. You'll have to give us some time on a letter, though. It's not as though we had her write one in anticipation of such a request. Even if we had, you certainly would have assumed it fraudulent, I'm sure." He dug into his pocket, pulling out a silver cigarette case and withdrawing a cigarette. He slid the case across the desk. "Care for a cigarette?" he asked with a smile as he lit his own, his eyes staring into Llewlyn's.

"I'm supposed to be doing the work of God? I don't believe in God. Not your God, any ways..."[/i]

Rosenkreutz laughed at this, blowing smoke across the desk into Llewlyn's face. "Of course you don't! You creatures are abominations! You worship the devil, if you worship anything at all beyond your own hedonistic ways! But yes, you will do the work of God. Do you know why I am so sure?"

Rosenkreutz' voice went icy cold, and all trace of humor left his face. "The reason why I am so sure, Llewlyn, is because I have faith. I can assure you that Hazel also has faith that you will do what you can to keep her alive. Faith is what protects us all, my friend. Perhaps if you'd acted sooner, and found faith, your son would not have had to pay the price for your sins."

[Llewlyn]

"Well, I daresay Hazel is hardly in a state she'd like to be seen in. You know women and their vanity, and you creatures are almost sin incarnate, so it's even worse in the females of your kind. So yes, you're very right; seeing her is out of the question. She's been crying quite a bit."

Llewlyn smirked, shaking his head at the offer of a cigarette and waving it away. He did not smoke.

"You don't know my Hazel very well. She cries in front of me quite a bit."

He choked the memories by the throat and forced them away as they tried to surface. She was probably crying... she must have been hysterical. For all her faults that he was unaware of before they were mated for her to give birth in a strange place then have the child taken away.... He closed his eyes to compose himself and opened them again.

I will follow this.... this pathetic human's plans. For now. But I will not listen to Nicolas, I will not bow down to them, not completely.

But he could not help the bitterness that welled inside of him and threatened to spill out. His hands held each other in a tight grip as he studied this man who tried to intimidate him, who tried to appear better than he was, as if he deserved to walk this Earth more so than
he or any other members of his species. Did he think he was smarter than them, that they were brainless? How had they survived through all these years? How had his species and those of his religion survive despite their scriptures, their recorded history, their relics and their temples and places of worship? Because they were imbeciles?

"Faith is what protects us all, my friend. Perhaps if you'd acted sooner, and found faith, your son would not have had to pay the price for your sins."

His own voice went icy, his nails beginning to lengthen, his skin beginning to itch. Llewlyn leaned forward, his tone deadly. "I had no time to react... I received the finger of my infant son without any other warning as to what was to happen. The next day, I received a letter telling me to get onto a plane in three hours... and an hour after wards I received the dismembered body of my son, minus his head. How do you call that me not reacting? How I should have reacted sooner? I was not given a chance, but then again, I suppose God told you to do that. Did Jesus speak to you as well? Did he rise from his grave and say, 'Rosenkreutz, kill this child to force his father into submission!' What kind of fucked up religion are you worshiping? No, better yet, what the fuck happened that caused you to believe that your God and his son want you to kill innocent children? To make their parents submit to your whims? I may worship 'devil' Gods but my Mother and Father I have much more faith in than I do your God and your devil." He smiled coldly. "Your religion is a polytheistic religion just as mine is as well and Jesus is not and never will be a warrior king. He was peaceful, he was loving, and he would never, ever kill a child."

[Rosenkreutz]

Rosenkreutz smiled still, not bothered by the anger in the lycan across from him. The tainted creature held his temper in check, proving to Rosenkreutz that he would obey. Still, he decided to remind him a little further.

"I would suggest that you watch your tone. It would be quite a shame to find that Hazel would suffer more for your sins. I find the regenerative properties of your damned species so....intriguing."
He let the threat hang in the air for a moment, wanting it to truly sink in. Disobey, and Hazel will go through pure torture. Rosenkreutz had already demonstrated that there was no such thing as "too far" for them where the damned creatures were concerned. Quite frankly, Rosenkreutz hoped he would be defiant in the chamber. He'd make him watch while Hazel was killed. Her confidence in her own safety would be her downfall. Even as she laughed at how she'd helped to deceive her mate, and taken the baubles and trinkets Manus Dexter Dei gave her as payment, there had continued to be a file on her. She thought herself so valuable and trusted, never knowing that Rosenkreutz only had to give the order and her imprisonment could become quite real, and her death only a footnote.

" How I should have reacted sooner?" [/i]

"You should have realized how damned you were long before the eyes and hand of God fell upon your cursed visage. Had you come to the light, your child would have been born in the light of God, not the darkness of your heathenry. "You could have saved him, by being saved yourself. "

" what the fuck happened that caused you to believe that your God and his son want you to kill innocent children?" [/i]

"Your child was not born innocent. He was a perversion of life, as are all of you demons made flesh. God commanded Abraham to kill Isaac, but stayed his hand. Had God commanded me to stay mine, I most certainly would have. And oh yes, this is the hand that did the work of God, " Rosenkreutz said, staring at his right hand as though it was some form of holy relic.

"Jesus' death on the cross was the blood sacrifice for humans to enter the kingdom of Heaven. You creatures were not granted such an indulgence. But do not mourn the loss of your son, rather praise it! His death was the blood sacrifice to allow you entrance to the kingdom! Praise and rejoice at his death, for your soul may now not be forfeit!"

[Llewlyn]

Disbelief. That was all he felt as he listened to this man talk. His face was neutral, void of any emotion or any feelings towards Rosenkreutz and what he said, though perhaps his lack of emotion was more telling. Inside, he was dying. Inside, he cried and screamed at the ludicrous nature of this man. How insane was he? How far from the truth, how far from the words that were written in the bible had he strayed, believing that God had come to speak to him and tell him it was okay to kill an innocent baby? That it was okay to threaten him with the possible torture of his mate? He briefly reminisced over his and Hazel's very short mating life... It had not been perfect, and he loved her, he truly did, but as soon as there was confirming of her pregnancy things had changed between them.... But she was not perfect, no one was, and though Llewlyn now realized he did not love as completely and as much as he should, he still cared for her. He did love her. And to lose their child.... To lose their baby, their first born that had been born healthy, been born alive...

He felt cold. Llewlyn felt so cold.

"You should have realized how damned you were long before the eyes and hand of God fell upon your cursed visage. Had you come to the light, your child would have been born in the light of God, not the darkness of your heathenry."

"I thought we were born cursed. What choice did I have in being conceived... as well as my son... To become Christian would have saved me.... Would have saved my son... Because no one is saved unless they are Christian... Or Biblicals, as I like to think of them..." A hand squeezed the bridge of his nose. "And what of the bible I read I was quite sure that Jesus loved everyone... He sat with prostitutes... He said for us to live as if Heaven was on Earth... To love, to show understanding... It's so nice to know that prostitutes are welcomed and loved by God but I'm not. A drug dealer, a rapist, a murderer, can receive redemption if he gives his live to God on his deathbed but I flat out am not and cannot."

This is insane... his mind whispered.

But what can I do? I'm stuck... Perhaps death is better than this, because despite what he says, I know I will not go to any Hell, I know that I am saved and creatures like him or not. And by following him I am giving in to the negative...

"What is it that you want me to do, exactly, to save my damned soul?" Llewlyn asked quietly. A headache was starting, directly between his eyes. His heart hurt the worst... Oh, his heart was dying. "Please..." He leaned forward. "If I am truly that damned..."

One day... One day I will justify your death, Mikael... One of these days....

[Rosenkreutz]

Rosenkreutz smiled at the damned thing's last question.

"First, as you are already aware, you will hand your pack over to Nicolas. When you leave here, you will meet him at the cafe to the south of the Vatican itself, just on the other side of the courtyard. You and he will fly back to your pack in the morning and inform them that he is now the alpha." Rosenkreutz smiled, knowing that he was taking Llewlyn's family away from him, removing the support network from his life. He'd fall in line more quickly with noone around to question his motivations.

"You will then stay with the pack until you receive a call on this phone instructing you on your first assignment." Rosenkreutz reached into his desk and slid a mobile phone to Llewlyn.

"You will answer this phone when it rings or there will be...consequences." Rosenkreutz' icy tone and joyless smile made it quite clear what sort of consequences they would be.

"Do you have any further questions of me, or of your duties with us?" Rosenkreutz asked.